Joaquin Del Mundo

The Neverending Essay...

Sitting at the café Seven Monkeys near Ehwa University, I tried to concentrate.  I tried to focus through my dizzyness that started with a headache turned flu-like.  I attempted to concentrate, and eventually, I started, on trying to summarize China.  But how does one summarize the prestige of China through the ages in a way that a Western audience could perhaps discern and reflect.  Eventually, I got through a single page, talking about Tang dynasty, the founding philosphies, and the dabbling into Confucianism.  I know it is probably of the wanton path, and the style is not pretty, but this is a draft essay, and it is just important to barf whatever on the paper.

I need to somehow harness and capture the immensity of China, to show how the Western world pales in comparison, so that later when the imperial powers come crashing into the Eastern world with sytsems and technology that far exceeds anything fathomable by China, it causes rippling effects that help propel Japan to dominate the region.  And within this I have show how Confucianism, threaded into aspects of Eastern societies, has been a barrier for Korea and China to modernize, while for Japan remolded into a tool to manufacture a new cultural identity that would unite the nation, a unity that would be the impetus to make Japan a respected world power.

I think the game plan now is to tackle other simpler tasks in the essay, and concentrate on more and more demanding Accounting

Readings at Readings Point Weather

I found this cafe named Point Weather on my walk to and from Tsunashima Station (綱島駅).  It is a cozy little place, just perfect for reading, and the staff is beyond polite and attentive. 

I was reading more of the book 1434 : The Year a Magnificent Chinese Fleet Sailed to Italy and Ignited the Renaissance, and I was quite impressed by the advanced economic and political system of the Venetians around that time.  With powerful open minded elites, advanced economical systems, and a form of government with checks and balances, there seemed to be a society that was rather well geared toward embracing innovations, especially with the emergence of new culture-shifting ideas introduced by the arrival of Ming Chinese with their wealth of knowledge in many areas including technology, science, math, charts and maps of the world including the Americas, etc.

Contrasting this society to the later years of China (from Ming Dynasty to Qing Dynasty) and Korea (Joseon Dynasty), both Korea and China seemed stuck in a quagmire of zealous ideologies around Neo-Confucism that resulted in cannibalizing politics, stemming innovation, and monopolizing intellectual thinking.  Ultimately Korea and China couldn't adapt the culture of elites, government structures, and economical systems that would allow them to adapt and absorb modern systems and science.  The imperial European powers at the time, just steam rolled into Asia, and the rest is history, for better or worse.

Missed My Final

Between the flu and other physical problems, I was barely cognitive.  I actually missed my final, thinking that the final was at 1pm, when it was at 12pm.  I was so embarrassed.  The instructor said that I may take it tomorrow.  Afterwards, I just went to sleep for four hours and tried to relax afterwards.

This quarter, I am not doing so well.  I skipped my Japanese final because I had to pull some last minute efforts for my Marketing course.  And also, I didn't really care about the Japanese course, as it was not a very good course, and I only took it for recreational purposes. 

I bombed my Chinese Policies and Foreign Relations.  The course is absurd, as the professor seems to not be involved, leaving the TA to scheme up impossible quizzes.  For the final, part of the material we needed to study was in Korean.  Between both of them, not many in the class no what to study or do.  They say one thing will be on the final, then they put something else.  Anyhow, perhaps maybe I could have studied more (if I knew what to study), but for me, without a clear direction and without clear way to see how to succeed, I and many others don't do well.  Some of the Korean girls though did really well, but then they knew people that took the class before and were able to learn from past efforts.

For Accounting, I was not doing well, borderline to getting a "D", and there is no way I could have made up for a semester's lack of effort.  I was just too overwhelmed, and sick most of the time to do well.  This class is a personal failure for my part.  I could have done better.  I skipped the final, as I didn't think I could pass the course.  I had a choice, spend precious time with Meari, who could very well be my future, or take a final that I would fail.  I chose Maeri over my Accounting final.

Tomorrow, I have my Korean final (a zero unit course), and I have my makeup for the Organizational Behavior.  I think I can study enough in time to do well, at the very least, pass the course.

Finals Week

Well.  It is the final stretch of this quarter.  It went by fast. I am trying to imagine where my time went.  Everything was a blurr, and I am not sure that so far my stint was all that successful.  I was so stressed out (many of reasons for that) and the feeling of alienation that I felt, especially damage done by select few gossipers...

Well, anyhow, I'm excited that it is almost over.  I don't know how well I will do.  I blew off my Japanese course, as I only took it for recreational purposes, and I needed the time to pull some last minute magic in organizing my group presentation and group project.  But my Accounting course is a source of embarrassment.  I did not contribute to the course all quarter.  I was far to overwhelmed with courses, especially combined with the depression and sickness I felt during the quarter.

One success story is my Korean History course.  I managed to complete my 9 page essay on Neo-Confucianism role on Korea and contrast this to China's experience.   And I had my final exam in  Korean History as well, and I think I ace'd it.  Well see what I  get.  I think it was a good experience overall for that course.  I really came through in the end.

As for my Chinese Policies &  Foreign Relations,  I am not sure what to study, nor do I think anyone else knows what to study, except for a small cluster of Korean girls that are intimate friends.  Of course, a lot of our study material are slides from apparently another student, but it is mostly in Korean.  Given the course is in English, that'll leave a lot of foreigners confused.  Of course the teacher will lecture us on how awful students we are again, because previously his prior batch caught bullets with their teeth, and memorized encyclopedias for recreation.

Foulness From of a Gyopo (American Born Korean)

Today in my Korean Pre-Modern history class, I started asking some of my nerdy questions regarding history.  I have been doing some intense studies over the weekend to make sense of all this Chinese, Japanese, Russian involvement as they fight for influence and control over Korea, and the various factions inside Korea that side with varying members to different degrees.  Some of this material can be very sensitive in Korean society, so undoubtedly I felt clarification was in order.

However, a few of the students didn't really appreciate these types of questions, or rather they were annoyed.  One of them was this jaemi-gyopo (American-born Korean) that had the sense to tell me "Shut up" and "I didn't come here and pay to hear you talk".  The professor was just shocked, as he wanted to really discuss the material I asked about (spoke to him later about the incident to make sure).

Well, I think between American religious zealots that snub me, already existent racist or otherwise intolerant ABK (American-born Korean) or gyopo as they call it in Korea, and the segregated nature of Korean college life (which amounts to foreigner discrimination), I just didn't want to hear it.  My abuse-o-meter was on overload.  I didn't want to take foulness anymore, especially from some spoiled stuck up snob in the class, so I lost it.  I told her what she can do to her self if she likes to be rude to people and made some related hand gestures in case there was a further problem in communication.

I couldn't believe I did that, she well, shut up real fast.  I'm sure she's not accustomed to the response dished out at her in her prissy little Hello-Kitty world.  For the rest of the day, I was a bit more assertive in general.  I continued along my Korean history, trying to make sense of this complex history book, as I race to gather material for my essay due at the end of the week.

Making Sense of Korean History (Late Joseon)

Well, I am in deep studying Korean history right before Japanese annexed it and committed their brutal occupation and colonization of Korea.  What is difficult is that there are so many vying factions and interests.  I managed to identify the pulling forces, or interests collections into a mind-map.  The professor said this was awesome.

Temple Stay

I went on a field trip through the Global Lounge at Yonsei University this past weekend. We went to this Buddhist temple retreat for the weekend to get exposure to Buddhism.  First we had to get into the role by wearing these orange outfits.  Later that Saturday, we learned about the rituals, and then on Sunday, we optionally could participate in chanting at 4 AM.  Well, almost everyone on the trip got up at 4 AM for the experience.  Then at 6 AM, we meditated for about 15 mins to 30 mins, and filed in for breakfast.

For the meditation, we learned one simple technique.  We were instructed to breathe in very slowly, using our diaphragm or stomach area, rather than just the lungs.  Each inward and outward breath counts as one count.  From there we had to do 20 of these for one set, counting forward to ten and then backwards to one.  We would repeat this three times.

About the time I got to the number 3, I had all kinds of exciting thoughts running through my head, everything from shopping, entertainment (World of Warcraft), socializing with friends, politics, and other random bits and pieces.

This meditation stuff is really difficult, a lot harder than it seems.  Through this procedure, I found myself more calm and more centered.  I wasn't out of the woods with all my stress and other oddities with relationships and deep connections to childhood past, but I did find that I could concentrate quite a bit more.   I suppose I should use this before studies to be able to focus more.  The overall experience was really useful.  I enjoy getting out of town.

They Still Gossip

Well the drama continues.  I found that there is still gossip about things that happened 3 months ago being spread around the campus about me and my other buddy Ethan.  Well, this is like um, ridiculous.  I heard through my other buddy Denes about what is being said.  Recently, one girl named Miso (미소) was really interested in me, but she keeps making excuses to meet.  I coudn't figure the shit out until I found that her good friend is one of these, IYC girls, or one friend puts it IYC demon children.   Woe beware of the IYC demon children.

Needless to say, I could really careless, because I do have good solid friends, and I also have a sense of self worth that sets me apart from them.  I also have some small sense of satisfaction that they'll lead their small meager programmed lives without much opportunity if life, but I know I shouldn't think like that, it is the wrong way, as it only serves to alienate oneself.  But, yeah, I'm mad, but I met other cool Korean guys that were really nice to me, and maybe I can make friends with them.

日本語を勉強する。

I decided to make part of today a major boost to study Japanese.  I wanted to start with the KLI (Korean Language Institute) text book, and do a comparison between Japanese and Korean languages.   The languages are so similar with the same grammar rules.  For example illustration:

Korean: Toseogwan eseo jong-gugeo ruel gong-bu hago issoyo.
Japanese: Toshokan de chuukokugo o benkyou shite iru.
Literal: Library (location particle) Chinese language (obj. particle) studying.
English: I am studying Chinese at the library.

The particles, little words used to indicate the function of a sentence clause, essentially function the same.  The progressive tense, which is the -ing form in English, uses a special construction (-go in Korean, -te in Japanese) and smashes it with the verb to "exist".  Thus for "study", they both mean "study doing exists".  If I said, I'm eating, both would have "eat exist" (taberu to tabete-iru and meokda to meoggo-issoyo).

Anyhow, I posted Chapter 3 of on of my texts online at: KLI Book I - Chapter 3 (Japanese).

今天我学习普通话。

Today I study Chinese Mandarin from my Korean book.  I am using Korean to study Chinese.  This started me to focus, and I was able to take that focus, and direct it to my studies to my Korean class.  The session was incredible, I learned quite a bit of Korean today.  At some point I will type this stuff up, and post it for other would be learners of the languages out there.

Some of the focus lately comes from the calm and peace I feel inside my heart.  I have to thank a very special woman that entered my life named 은지 (Eun-Ji).  My mind wonders all over the map, many times to areas of extreme negativity, and hearing her voice brings a sense of peace to my mind.  I never met anyone that had this affect on me, usually the opposite, settling for unstable people that just serve to aggravate my sensibilities.   However, this day was the first real time I was able to focus in Korea.  It is like a bunch of random sticks on the ground, and I pick them up, bundle them together, and this bundle is a set of mental energy focus I can use to direct toward something.  And that something currently at this moment is Chinese.  :)

Once I get busy with the project, I might have some samples like this:

Simple Hanzi: 你什么时候去图书馆了？
Trad. Hanzi: 你什麼時候去圖書館了？
Pinyin: nĭ shénme shíhòu qù túshūguăn le?
Zhuyin: ㄋㄧˇ ㄕㄣˊㄇㄛ ㄕˊㄏㄡˋ ㄑㄩˋ ㄊㄨˊㄕㄨㄍㄨㄢˇ ㄌㄜ?

Alright, enough fascination with a bazillion languages.  I really need to direct my new spotlight of focus to courses that matter.